The Daughters of Caydra

Short story:

Trigger warning: Topics include: an exploration of the intersection between autonomy and community, vore, environmentalism, and biology.

The Daughters of Caydra


Nuclear war left the land damaged beyond recognition. Although most people died, scientists did what they could to salvage an injured world for those who remained. While there were still enough people and systems functioning, they cultivated a strain of fungus for bioremediation, hoping to clean up the world so that their progeny could rebuild. Along with the fungus to clean, the scientists bred a symbiotic strain of algae to work with the fungus. While the fungus sequestered toxins, the rapidly growing algae was designed to be a food source. The algae engaged in horizontal gene transfer that let it observe what amino acids and other building blocks that organisms in their environment would need in order to thrive. This algae would synthesize those building blocks from the fungus as the fungus took the constituent pieces from the earth.


These techniques came too late to save society. Without the maintenance of infrastructure, most information was lost, sending technology back to the stone age. Despite so much being lost, there was hope for the future in an unassuming microbe. Hydra already had a habit of consuming algae without breaking it down to cultivate internally. It was only a few small steps before they integrated the remediative fungus as well, making them even more resilient in an otherwise toxic environment.


The horizontal gene transfer system functioned properly most of the time, but also had errors. A human consumed the algae and a hydra with it. One of their gametes was damaged, pieces of hydra DNA spliced into the offspring they produced. Caydra was born, and began the cycle of life which would revitalize the planet.


Caydra looked mostly like any other human with only a few abnormalities. Her eyes were the brilliant green of the algae, cultivating it as an endosymbiote within her. Her face looked chubbier than her compatriots with a double chin despite being malnourished. She had two additional tongues nested in a pocket from below her chin up to her cheeks that could unfurl from her mouth like the tentacles of a hydra. Her proportions looked like a smaller adult instead of a child when she was born, her broken hydra system responding to aging in an abnormal way. She was heavily brain damaged and physically weak.


Despite Caydra’s challenges, she was beloved by the nomadic tribe she was born to. She had a limited self/other boundary in her mental framework, cultivating a very communal mindset that was far less individualistically driven than most people. She was able to effectively see when people were in need, helping in whatever simple ways she could. She was not smart enough to effectively participate in building shelter or scouting for algae in the wastes, but she kept morale high even through times of darkness and took on a therapeutic role in the tribe.


Unfortunately, hard times could get very hard out in the wastelands. Her tribe suffered from starvation, struggling to survive. An opportunistic mountain lion exploited this vulnerability,  attacking the exhausted, malnourished tribe. Although they managed to fend it off, one of their strongest hunters was gravely injured in the process.


The hunter spluttered to breathe, bleeding out. Everyone was distraught at the impending loss of a vital member of the tribe. Food was already scarce, and if their main hunter died, so would the tribe. She wasn’t going to make it. and Caydra responded purely off of her intuition. She was hungry, and the huntress wasn’t going to live, it would be a waste to let more blood escape. She approached the huntress and opened her mouth inhumanly wide, flesh tearing as she craned her maw outward like a hydra, swallowing the huntress. This shocked her tribe.


The tribe deliberated about what to do with Caydra. She’d never shown any signs of aggression and people genuinely cared for her. After days of discussion it was decided that she was dangerous. The tribe reluctantly beheaded her, corpse slumping over as algae spilled from the stump of her neck.. Although she’d been killed for her cannibalism, the tribe was still starving and algae was the kind of nutrient dense food they needed to survive. The tribe ate the algae that spilled out, but felt too repulsed to actively carve any more from her flesh, leaving her corpse behind as they continued to search for food.


The next week was tough for the tribe. They had lost their best hunter and despite being a monster, Caydra had been beloved by everyone. People told stories around the fire about the lost hunter until one of them noticed something strange. People were telling stories about events they hadn’t witnessed, personal connections that had been hidden from others, and journeys that had been taken in isolation. These were the memories of the hunter spread among the tribe, each who had eaten of the algae having different pieces of what the hunter knew. They’d picked up parts of her personality traits, and despite her being gone through the amalgam of the tribe’s behaviors she was still present. The way one would snort when they laugh was her, the way another would panic if a spider came by was her, although she was lost she was still a part of the tribe.

The tribe was legitimately confused by this and decided to go back to where they left Caydra’s corpse in search of answers. When they found her body it was not as they had left it. Fungus and algae had broken down not only her flesh, but the very earth around her, cultivating an algal bloom which could feed the entire tribe for weeks. While the tribe collected algae they heard the startling cry of an infant!


The tribe dug through the fungus to find three very strange infants. One of them looked like the hunter they had lost, but like Caydra, proportioned like a very small adult instead of a child.  Along with this infant, there were two that looked like Caydra, albeit with a little variation. One was a little taller, the other had a slightly more upturned nose, but overall they were very clearly her with that same characteristic double chin filled with extra tongues. The tribe decided to take care of these new lives.


The infants developed at an unnatural speed, the abundance of algae as food bringing them from mere children to adulthood in a single year. Although Caydra’s body had been lost, her memories were stored in the community itself. The daughters of Caydra were given the names Miracle and Sacred for what they brought to the community. 


Miracle and Sacred lacked a lot of the autonomous, self oriented thinking that most humans had, similar to their mother. Miracle was able to hunt a little, with stronger tactical planning skills, while Sacred had stronger long term attention as an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on.


On a hunt, Miracle and two others were injured by an aggressive boar. She had managed to get a spear into it, but it would surely get away, leaving the tribe hungry for the night. Sacred sat with Miracle to comfort and take her mind off her injuries. Intuitively, Miracle pulled Sacred close and belched in her face.


Miracle’s internal algae stimulated Sacred, bringing her hunting skills and setting a hormonal environment in her body to temporarily increase her strength and agility. The daughters of Caydra had internal hormonal regulation systems like their human family, but they also had more. As a group they could support each other’s capabilities by sharing the production of hormones communally. Miracle was able to produce more osteocalcin to trigger fight or flight in and shared it with Sacred so she could hunt more effectively. With this extra support, Sacred finished the hunt, returning with the boar to keep the tribe fed for the evening.


Miracle was incredibly resilient and would recover from the injuries, but the other two had gotten infections. Nobody in the tribe knew the medicines of the past, this was a death sentence.


Sacred, like Caydra before her acted on intuition, consuming her injured tribemates. Although Sacred had caught the boar to keep them all alive, murder couldn’t be tolerated within the tribe and she was executed for her actions. They waited by her corpse, ate of her algae and brought the memories of those who were lost back into the tribe. Like with the death of Caydra, infants emerged from the algae, two variants of Sacred and two children who were a mix of those who she had devoured. Miracle felt for the tribe, and knew that she and her nieces would one day consume others just as Sacred and Caydra had done before. She took the infants to form a new tribe of her own kind, the Daughters of Caydra.


Where the Daughters of Caydra now call their home, life cycles become dramatically faster, as those which are reborn after being devoured develop at incredible rates. They acquire pieces of previous minds to reach mental maturity swiftly, and copious amounts of food bring them to full size without the standard regulation of aging systems. They eat everything in their environment consistently, the apex predators of any biome. The algae and fungus left when they die eats away at earth beneath, converting unliving matter into edible biomass swiftly. This leads to massive booms in the population of all reborn creatures without the traditional population caps of reproductive development speed or food shortage.


Craterous cauldrons form where the algae and fungus has eaten deep into the earth in the locations where daughters of Caydra have died. That earth has been converted to a lake of life, population density resembling a hive that contains many sapient hybrids. These beings hold the aggregate memory of all those who came before, going all the way back to Caydra herself. As they continue to breed, they serve the original mission the algae was created for, cultivating biodiversity and an abundance of life wherever they go so all beings may be fed.


The Continuous Colonization of Feedist Communities

Trigger warnings:

-Fat oppression

-Subculture exile dynamics

-Divergent sexual orientation

First defining some terms for ease of reading by a variety of people. An FA is a Fat Admirer, someone who specifically finds fat people attractive. A feedist is someone whose sexuality is integrated with eating, gaining weight or both and encompasses a range from fetishization to a sexual orientation.

I want to preface this by noting that the FA and feedist communities have lots of highly problematic people who contribute to fatphobia and sexual objectification with absolutely terrible behavior. For transparency I’m a feedist and FA with thin privilege, these communities need to do better in the fight for fat liberation. Being attracted to someone is not doing them a favor. If other people are trying to light someone on fire the person who wants to drown them instead isn’t doing anything good. This piece is not intended to demonize non-feedist fat people, just to note a phenomena and the structures that surround it.

For quite awhile feedists have been making communities through fat zine culture, or in modern times as social networking sites. Once a feedist community is created it predictably goes through a cycle. At first the community exists for the feedists, people are peers and share some level of common interests. They connect, create content and the new community begins to blossom. The content that gets created by sex workers, artists, and people who are just open about sharing their beauty ends up attracting non-feedist FAs because feedist content often contains beautiful fat people. FAs make up a substantially greater percent of the general population than feedists, because of this most of the community ends up being comprised of non-feedist FAs. Despite the variation in why people are there, this phase is often relatively harmonious aside from feedists from previous communities complaining since they know where things are going.

The next phase starts when there is a large enough number of FAs in the community. Non-feedist fat people who suffer through the fatphobia of the mainstream are attracted to the community because there is a wealth of people who value that aspect of their aesthetic instead of demonizing it as unattractive. Just like in the previous situation, there are a lot more non-feedist fat people than there are feedists in the general population, so over time the community ends up being mostly non-feedist fat people. A lot of non-feedist fat people are grossed out by feedists since an aspect of them that has caused them substantial suffering outside their control is being actively encouraged by the people who started the community. Conflicts occur between the feedists who feel upset that this area they created for themselves is now a space where they’re demonized regularly. A lot of non-feedist fat people are grossed out by what they see as a kink that is based in the sexualization of activities they are often shamed and oppressed for engaging in. Additionally, the feedists are the most fringe element that society would prefer exist the least, as both the smallest population and the objective set that is farthest from “normal” behavior. Thus feedists detract respectability from the community, impacting how okay it is for non-feedists to be public about participating in the community. Whoever is in charge of the community needs to process how to handle these conflicts and that sucks, the feedists just wanted a space to connect with each other, and the non-feedists found a space where their appearances aren’t demonized in the same way that mainstream society does. At some point the folks in charge realize that the majority of their user base are not feedists, and in order to serve the community they need to respond to what the community desires. The feedists are exiled from the community they created to serve the greater needs of that community’s new demographics. Now lacking community, one of those exiles makes a new community and the cycle repeats itself.

Similar to how white queer people escaped to San Francisco to flee the homophobia of most of America and displaced the people of color who had been living there, the non-feedist fat people flee to these feedist communities and displace the feedists. It sucks because every step of the way each party is making an entirely reasonable choice. The feedists are reasonable in creating a community to serve their needs. The FAs are reasonable in flocking to a community that has content which meets their needs. The non-feedist fat people are reasonable in embracing a space where their bodies won’t be demonized. The people in charge are reasonable for serving the community by doing what they can to meet the needs of the most people and keeping the community as respectable as possible so it can be more accessible to more people and more effectively meet those people’s needs. This has been going on since before I was born and is deeply intertwined with a lot of fat communities including fat liberation communities.

It’s frustrating as a feedist to know a place I was invited to that had been mostly feedists when I arrived has a continuously increasing percent of its population that hates that feedists exist. Based on what I’ve seen in the two times I’ve witnessed the cycle in full and the few times I’ve witnessed the cycle in part there are a few things that come to mind.

-1: The most impactful action to take in addressing this issue is fighting for fat liberation. If the general populace doesn’t treat fat people like shit there are dramatically less incentives for non-feedist fat people to dismantle feedist communities. This is useful for the people at every stage in this process, or who didn’t even know that these communities were a thing.

-2: The feedist community can take greater action to fight the problematic behavior that comes up within our community. There would be less incentive for the non-feedist fat people to exile us if there weren’t so many people who waste their calories on treating fat people like sex objects. This is accessible to both FAs and feedists.

I know this was a divergent topic that is wildly different from the discourse that most people are accustomed to. Thanks for making it through. Do you have additional ideas on how cycles like this work or how to effectively meet everyone’s needs without generating harm for other parties? I’d love to hear people’s thoughts!

May blessing and nourishment find all who read this,

--Isicera


Deities and Creation

A friend asked me about my perspective on deities and creation recently. As someone who used to be highly anti-woo, I refused to use the language which had been so thoroughly incorporated into organizations which chronically mislead people for their own ends for many years. I'm now at a space where I'm happy to use the word deity despite my concept of deity being highly variable from the popular anthropomorphic forces of creation and direction of reality. This is my current understanding based on nothing more than my experiences and observations. I do not claim this to be a statement of fact, logic or prophecy, just the way that I organize my understanding of how reality functions.

There are three deities:

  1. Iteration/Symmetry: The repetition of any specific thing.

  2. Emergence: The point at which iterations of the subject become a high enough amount of its environment to change the mechanics of its interaction.

  3. Integration: Taking multiple formats from different stages of emergence and networking them to generate novel behavior.

Reality is the self organizing principle of emergence tied to iteration. Everything that exists is a variety of iterators reaching critical mass, emerging and then integrating the new and the old into a more complete format that will continue to iterate to generate new emergence which will integrate again. Stars are the result of gravity and mass iterators hitting a critical mass of acquired mass then integrating that critical mass as new elements beyond hydrogen. Planets are similar with the iterators from stars hitting critical mass of releasing denser elements. Life mirrors this pattern with self replicating patterns, then RNA based life, then DNA based life then symbiogenesis, then expanding information storage to the written word.

All of these were iterators that reached emergence and integrated the results of previous emergence. Every time something is created, it is one or more of these deities channeled through some format of creation. Whether it be iteration channeled by a parent, or emergence channeled by a festival, and often all 3 channeling through the same vessel at the same time. In our relationship with these deities we fill a role in the structure of their multiple overlapping bodies. These deities generally function at scales that don’t really notice humans unless something goes wrong, kind of like how humans are full of cells that we don’t pay a ton of attention to unless something goes wrong.

Most formats of spirit work regardless of culture use ritual, it’s one of the easiest ways to contact iteration, bringing iteration to that spot in spacetime in a conscious way to observe its behavior and commune with it. This is by far the easiest of the deities to connect with in a conscious way through one’s own volition. Rituals set a certain mind state related to the concept of flow, being immersed in the iteration itself to the point that the information stream of iteration that you’re accessing is larger than your processing speed leaving no space left for wondering if you left the kettle on or not.


People of a variety of spiritual backgrounds recognize synchronicities or ‘signs’ as messages from their deity. I understand this to be the communication of emergence, a large enough set of iterations has occurred that a behavior which is statistically unlikely occurs. There are infinite wildly unlikely things that we ignore constantly, but when we consciously give awareness to the space of that emergence it’s a format of communing with that force. I’ve found this is great for listening to emergence, but speaking to it is a bit more complex. I find one of the best ways to commune with emergence is creative work such as painting or sculpture in which the dance between what has been and what may be expresses the space of emergence in between. Not the replication of an object, but supporting something expressing what it wants to become.

Almost all disciplines lead to a relationship with integration. When things that were separate become a part of you it gives insight into the workings of integration. Muscle memory is an easy way to get there, whether it’s a dance move or a stroke of the brush, it’s knowing something so intimately that it’s a part of you that no longer requires thought. This can also be done in the opposite direction of scale, recognizing one’s space in vastness whether it be the ocean, or a movement for justice, it leads to that sense of nested systems and community which is so important to communing with integration.

The method that I personally connect with these deities is growth through mutually beneficial consent based omnivorism.  The desire to devour everything of literal omnivorism is a strong channeling of integration. The acquisition of mass and growth is the accumulation necessary for emergence to express itself. The path of mutual benefit is honoring future iteration for both myself and others.

May all who read this be blessed by these forces in all of their forms,

--Isicera


Sharers

Welcoming Veresymex Compressed.jpg

Sharers are a species that are intimately connected with the worlds of their experience. Sharers experience through a field of awareness that uses the sensory input of that which is in their field. They see through the eyes of all that is in their field, hear from the ears, experience change in electron valence and every other form of awareness. Instead of just encoding memories, Sharers store connection to every object they experience as reference points and link back to that object and use it as an ever flowing stream of what builds their own bodies. They build themselves out of whatever is most effective for the task at hand by referencing all those points in space and bringing them together through higher dimensional pinching.

When Sharers are sharing an eye to see, it gives the home of that eye additional experience, giving the being who the eye is borrowed from access to additional vision. When they share a stomach, that nourishment is added to the experience of those they share with. With these shared parts Sharers compose an ever shifting form fitted to their current objectives, a collaboration of all they share with in accomplishing their goals. The Sharer’s form is not always contiguous, but they still rely on physics to function. Every point within their field can be shifted in a higher dimension in order to replace it with another, executing this action en masse is how they continuously construct their bodies. When a part of their body leaves their field it operates without connection to the greater awareness that had been using it. Because of this before Sharers are Sapient they’re often noticed as a moving area continuously generating insects, plants or fungi.

A Sharer starts their life cycle as a field 1 foot in diameter and inert, their sole objective being to acquire objectives by observing the environment for conscious agents. Once a being which has objectives enters the field, the sharer organizes itself most effectively to try and achieve those objectives, often building a duplicate body of the first thing to cross through them. The point a Sharer radiates from is their center of mass, as they eat they acquires more area which their field overlaps with. At some point multiple things with objectives will be in the Sharer’s space, at this point they have access to more objectives. They synthesize multiple objectives together in order to start coming up with their own, doing the same thing with bodies. As beings that experience multiple perspectives at a time, Sharers are highly empathetic. Because they experience whatever is in their field, an objective that quickly becomes important to Sharers is to increase harmonious activity, so that the amount of suffering within their field reduces while the amount of positive experience increases, meeting base level objectives they experience.

The Sharers reference points are within their field, however they can access other reference points through dispersing themselves. This happens when a Sharer’s body is consumed, and they choose to let it be broken down, absorbed into their devourer. This lets them reference the parts of that which consumed them built with their calories as they’re removed from the field. Sharers develop their harmonious default objectives with the attempt to be consumed by things of great capability in the most nourishing way possible so that those strengths can be referenced even at a distance for accomplishing their objectives. Consuming a Sharer is a deeply vulnerable and powerful act as the devourer will be called upon in many situations, learning from the experiences that they’re shared in. They need to renew these connections as the predator’s body sheds cells and need to be consumed again.

Sharers naturally become mediators of conflict and makers of friends. Within their field they optimize for all things being nourished with minimal suffering, but impactful things come from outside their fields as well. Many Sharers travel in order to create greater harmony between those in conflict. Along with mediating conflict Sharers are excellent healers, replacing pieces in others that are harmed or damaged as long as there is a good reference available within their field.

Sharers cannot die, but they will go dormant if they’re imprisoned in a space that nothing with objectives passes through for long enough that all beings that have absorbed their flesh have released it from the hosting body. They’ll remain inert until something else with objectives enters their field and start emulating again.

Sharers are often found in areas where people are harmonious surrounding themselves with those who think and experience to incredible degrees, maintaining incredible biodiversity so the right tool is available for every situation. Since eating gives a Sharer access to a greater area, they’re generally quite appreciative of consuming massive amounts in order to both expand their area of influence and to mutually nourish things that they reference digestive tools from. They’re incredibly supportive in times of famine since they can dramatically multiply the impact of food. Having people around that love eating helps a Sharer expand more readily enabling them to help more people. Sharers also like to form long lasting relationships, that way more of the useful things they’ve developed in their processing will be remembered instead of continuously reinventing the wheel. Sharers only have a memory as long as something they can reference has a memory, and thinks only as long as something they can reference thinks.


Sharers intuitively name themselves as the concatenation of the first two beings that they experienced objectives from simultaneously that had sense of name. The first conscious whole greater than the sum of its parts when a Sharer realizes it is something other than what it emulates.

_______________________________________

Life is simple, wait. This was the only thought that went through Kassica’s mind.  There was nothing, infinite darkness in every direction, no sound, no feeling, just waiting. Then in the nothing there was something, feeling. Kassica felt her foot press against grass. The alien sensations of cold and smooth embraced her, the grass was better than the waiting! Then she felt her foot and leg connecting up to her shoulder. She was calm, scurrying cautiously. Experience was not all, this shoulder connected to a head and a mind within. More than feeling, now she could see, hear and smell. She had eyes looking at grass twice her height, the smell of fresh dew on this chilly quiet morning. This strangeness was a beautiful show to Kassica, senses were amazing! New thoughts started to fill her mind, she’d only had one before, and now she had many. “Eat food. Find mate. Avoid danger.”  This quadrupling of thoughts was overwhelming for her, but they were exhilarating!

Along with the 2 eyes through which she saw the world, 2 more opened revealing space from another perspective. The first mouse startled as a being materialized right before its eyes, a second mouse. She saw herself, and through that self she saw her other self. Despite the surprise, neither mouse seemed threatening, and they found a solution to their need to eat. A peach had splattered atop the grass and dirt, juices sinking into the soil. As the other mouse munched on the fallen peach, Kassica made her first decision, she walked forward and took a bite. The peach was amazing! Kassica finally understood why the mouse wanted to eat, eating was good! She felt the body of the mouse and her own mousey body integrating the peach, swallowing pieces of the sweet stone fruit. She felt her wings buzzing and feet land upon a petal. She was quite confused, wasn’t she a mouse eating fruit?... She still was, but she was also a bee, new vision and sensations entering her experience. So this other mouse was its own, it was not her, but she felt it. This bee was not her, but she lived through it also, compound eyes joining the 4 mousey ones in providing her sight of the world. Now she felt the thoughts of both the the mouse and the bee, “Eat food” and “Collect Nectar.”

Kassica understood why eating food was a good plan, this peach was fantastic, but what was this nectar? Why collect things? When she’d listened to the thoughts of the mouse it hadn’t steered her wrong, so maybe she should listen to the bee as well. The bee wanted a flower that had been flattened by the falling peach, she used her mousey body to pull the peach off to the side so the flower could once again be available. The bee happily made its way to the flower and began connecting nectar from the resilient plant as the other mouse finished off the last of the peach. Her mousey body no longer had peach to eat and she was sad. However this bee was doing more than simply eating the nectar. It swallowed it into a place of collection for later access.It was a revolutionary thought that she could collect something now for use later, this mouse and bee were the smartest things Kassica had ever encountered and she was deeply in awe of their wisdom.

New sensations joined the feelings of the mouse, the bee and Kassica’s own mouse body. Scales warmed by the sun a sensation of vibration through the ground, a snake. Although the bee and Kassica noticed the snake, the other mouse did not. The concept of not simultaneously knowing confused her deeply. Then through the mouse’s body she felt caution, sensing something was amiss. Eating and collecting had felt good, but this felt bad. She thought the mouse’s thoughts “Danger, freeze.” As it stopped moving. She also felt through the snake as it prepared to strike, this was the feeling like eating, it was anticipatory, and wonderful. Then she felt the strike. Sharp fangs injected powerful neurotoxins into the mouse, pain  arcing through its entire form. Kassica felt that pain merged with the joy of the snake who would now have access to breakfast.

This brought Kassica deep confusion, the mouse did nothing to harm the bee, nor did the bee do anything to harm it, why did the snake harm the mouse? She felt the experience of these three simpler minds overlapping, the last writhing of the mouse filling her with anguish. The snake swallowed the dying rodent, this felt like eating the peach, but she was on both sides this time, the mouse and the snake. She felt herself swallowing and being swallowed, she learned the painful truth of contradictory objectives. She felt every side of the experience, the snake, the mouse and observing as the bee. Her mouse body stopped working, suffering as if she had been injected with the neurotoxin herself. She spasmed, body writhing as she focused on the snake, feeling its long fluid spine, the sensation of the mouse in its throat, and as she experienced she manifested the body of the snake. This helped her realize that her shape was based off those around her, she needed to make sure things were safe if her body was spasming and uncontrollable she couldn’t exert her agency-she wouldn’t break-, she wouldn’t feel this terrible pain. Though what if something bigger would treat the snake how it had treated the mouse? She learned that she could be more as dozens of sets of bee wings sprouted from her snake body’s back scales. Both her experience of being the bee and of being the snake could serve her.

Kassica lifted off the ground, serpentine body carried as she got to a better vantage point above the grass. There was a whole world out there! She felt the snake’s desire to rest in the sun after hunting and the bee’s desire to collect more nectar, this was joined with a new thought, her own. What am I? From being a snake she knew what a mouse was, from being a mouse she knew what a snake was, and as a bee she knew that the two existed but didn’t really seem interested in them. She was everything, at least everything in a tiny area. She experienced through all the animals around her, each eye and mind contributing to her own being, however despite all this experience she had no agency over the snake or the mouse or the bee. What was it she executed agency through? She used her snakey flexibility to look back over her body, she was like the snake, but she’d been the mouse before, so maybe she was a snake mouse? As Kassica pondered her existence the snake slithered out to a sunnier area less obscured by grass.

Kassica was lost, she was a bee collecting nectar, hadn’t she just been thinking something? Complex thoughts were hard.  Oh well it was time to collect nectar. Another bee flew in, and she experienced the contrast of multiple views at the same time once more. Her experience was richer as she began to think with greater complexity again. When the snake had left she had become a very limited bee, it was only as another bee entered that she became more herself again. It was confusing to have a contiguous line of experience but have her ability to think and embody herself vary so wildly in such a short time. That kind of instability was scary! Agency had been what allowed her to eat that Peach, eating the peach was good, and the feeling of losing greater agency was bad. She followed the other bees.


The Cure

A short justice and kink oriented science fiction story that touches on topics of: Fat liberation, accessibility, weights beyond the standard range of the square/cube law, vore, prison abolition and more.

The Cure

Prologue:

Near the middle of the 21st century food production reached an all time high, but malnourishment was still an awful truth for those who lived in poverty. Dr. Shelly Anko addressed starvation in a way that the ‘free market’ couldn’t subvert for profit, a hope for people getting the nutrition they needed. She developed Symbioglobulin, a more specialized version of ImmunoglobulinA that focused on its ability to regulate gut microbiota making them both more symbiotic with their human hosts and more symbiotic with each other. This adaptive system enabled even the most virulent strains of bacteria and fungi to be integrated into the microbiome and supply nutrition. With Symbioglobulin it became possible to meet an average human’s needs with less than 5% as much food.

Along with Symbioglobulin, she also cultivated a new kind of fat cell. AdipocyteB could handle containing even the most toxic of substances, making overdose toxicity impossible. These otherwise toxic substances were put to use by advanced protein folding tools in Symbioglobulin, enabling internal creation of things like graphene to enhance muscle, bone, nerves and more. This ability to get value out of things which were otherwise toxic reduced waste output to essentially nothing. The processes at play prompted frequent voluminous belching to release the non-toxic minimally useful byproducts. Since Symbioglobulin had way too many syllables to be communicated to the masses, this new way to avoid malnutrition and be immune to food based pathogens was simply known as “The Cure”.

The Cure was spread through belches, a resilient way to insure that people’s needs were met without market pressures putting a price on a pill. Just because someone could now survive off only a small bowl of rice for a month didn’t fix the pain of hunger. Ghrelin, and Neuropeptide Y ran wild without a hint of Leptin in sight. Despite this flaw in The Cure’s functionality, people in first world nations were pretty excited about the concept of being immune to foodborne pathogens.

When The Cure was brought back to nations abundant in food, its impact was more extremely visible. The increased ability to extract nutrition and abundant access to food, made the weights of those infected with The Cure increase dramatically. They had vastly superior health, but the forces of fat-phobia didn’t let that slow oppression down one bit. As more people were Cured, more of the population witnessed how so much infrastructure they had taken for granted wasn’t accessible to people of size. The power structure had no interest in adapting to meet people’s needs and as average weights doubled then quadrupled, infrastructure was useless for serving the needs of the growing populace.

The majority of government powers appealed to their wealthy donors that this was an emergency, new infrastructure was a necessity for society to keep functioning.  When it came time to vote, infrastructure spending was slashed and subsidies were given to the top 1%. The attempt to have a better embodied experience of life was demonized by the power structure, saying those that used The Cure to fix their health challenges were weak of will and didn’t deserve infrastructure that served their needs. In order to more effectively demonize these people that now made up the majority of the population, those in power engineered the Predator Pathogen. It skyrocketed the appetites of those it infected and expanded their capabilities to handle swallowing prey larger than themselves whole. It could sneak through the immune systems of The Cured because it didn’t actually do anything harmful to the body, just functioned as a catalyst for increased capability and behavioral change. The image portrayed in the media was that The Cured were human eating monsters, to be feared, despised and hated. As time passed, more people contracted The Cure and the Predator Pathogen and weight continued to increase.

Vehicles, buildings, and devices that were everyday necessities were no longer available at scales that met the needs of the people. This became incredibly problematic when production of vital goods and services died out. The proletariat could no longer operate the tools needed to keep making food, vehicles and computers. Most nations collapsed.

The small Pacific island nation of Ki’Azu was ruled by queen Azaka, a powerless yet beloved figurehead in place to take publicity while parliament did the actual work. Azaka was quite the massive presence both energetically and physically. The engineers of Ki’Azu had been customizing larger infrastructure to meet Azaka’s needs for decades. These engineers had already investigated the challenges of the large and knew how to handle everything from door frames to cell phones to address her needs. While the rest of the world was collapsing, Azaka insured that the needs which had been met for her were also met for her people. Ki’Azu restructured all public systems to meet the needs of all their citizens including those of incredible mass. As an island nation, Ki’Azu couldn't handle their increased need for food. To solve this, they provided their expert skills in rebuilding infrastructure to what had been their biggest mainland trade partner, Cha’Tzien.

Cha’Tzien was the first nation to obtain infrastructure while also having access to lots of land. It became the primary food supplier for a much hungrier world, innovating agriculture through vertical gardening and other scalable systems.With the support of Ki’Azu, they stabilized the world's food supply. The human devouring practices from the Predator Pathogen had wildly unforeseen impacts. Symbioglobulin took in foreign bodies, analyzing their inputs and outputs. Pathogens were the original application, but when applied to complex things like humans, behavioral outputs also ended up being integrated into Symbioglobulin. It was able to develop an answer for any element, structure or potentially pathogenic being and built a database based on what had been consumed. When a person was consumed, their symbioglobulin was also absorbed, integrating the way their database understands inputs and outputs.

Predators of people developed an intuitive sense of how things could effectively nourish humans and how to interact with others to modify behavior creating greater symbiosis just like they did with pathogens. These beings that devoured others become known as Oracles because of the intuitive knowing they developed. When an Oracle visited a place they found a key person. This person could be a delinquent causing problems, a community leader organizing people, or a mail delivery person. Oracles would find these people who happen to be at ideal nexus points to influence a community and radically bless that person's life. The Oracle taught them lessons they needed to learn, gave them resources they need to have, and connected with them in ways that were nourishing. Oracles supported people in the self actualization process and the communities were blessed with these actualized individuals.

Oracles made all communities better and were a sought after resource, yet there were serious fears around consuming other sapient beings. The people of Cha’Tzien’s religious background was fertile ground for these new capabilities to be cultivated. They believed that people were the impact that's left on the world as the result of all the actions they took during their lives. A special class of religious clergy took on the perspective that the most effective way to have actions which leave positive impact on the world is to participate as Prey for Oracles. They expose themselves to a broad variety of pathogens, chemicals, etc. to build up strong databases in their AdipocyteB and Symbioglobulin with the intention of cultivating a diverse inner system to nourish the Oracle which would consume them. The sum of the Oracle’s actions plus their Prey actions without consumption would have been lower than the actions of them as a combined entity.

Cha’Tzien cultivated a public service supporting those with perspectives that enabled effective Oracle work. They embrace those with personalities that allow them to participate in consuming other people while remaining respectful of Prey and emotionally healthy. Cha’Tzien welcomed these people in so that they could become Oracles in safe and supported ways. Professional Prey got to 'live on' by making the world a better place through the Oracle’s actions. They were the social development devourer center of the world, where those that desired to improve the world go to hone their skills and appetites. They invite people in, train them as Oracles, and make the world a better place.

100 years after the collapse, Paratzia was born, she knew her destiny was to become Prey as long as she could remember. She grew up in Appo, the religious capital of Cha’Tzien, it wasn’t exactly known as a space for children and she grew in the strangeness of this existence. There were only three other students in her class, and each got the time and attention needed to flourish. In an environment surrounded by Oracles, life was kind. All kinds of support fell into place wherever her life could become more blessed. She spent most of her development running around doing errands for the devout Prey, grabbing everything from uranium to krocadil for those who needed to build their inner libraries to cultivate themselves as nourishing meals. Future Prey and Oracles traveled in from all over the world and Tzia learned exceptionally basic forms of dozens of languages, able to help people with directions, and generally figure out what’s needed. She was so well regarded in the Prey community that she even developed the nickname “Heaven’s meal”, an honoring of the truth that before even studying at the academy she was considered the finest prey in the world.

Developing life in such a unique situation gave Tzia a perspective that enabled her to be blessed with the role of Oracle. This came as a serious shock to Tzia when despite getting a perfect score on the entrance test to be accepted into the Prey Academy, she was turned away. She was told that she had the correct perspective to become a truly great Oracle. This turned everything she had learned on its head. She knew that the Oracles often had a way of knowing what would work out, so despite her uncertainty, she took the dive and enrolled as an Oracle.

Tzia was a massive woman. At 5’10” and 19,083 pounds, she already had the figure of an Oracle before any training! Her strong muscular core absolutely drowned in an ocean of fat, giving her incredible width and depth. To move at such an extreme size she learned the Oracle technique to stay mobile, flowing. Flowing was when a being moves in alignment with the waveforms traveling through their fat, accumulating power for motion, setting the massive body cascading like an avalanche. Tzia could gently shift her oscillation to adjust the angles and speeds of the crashing waves of flesh to keep her adipose abundance moving with her core. When entirely still it could be up to a minute before Tzia really got going because of her awe inspiring mass. For most of her days she was in constant motion, her neutral hip sway was like a grounded hover to keep herself ready for action. Her fat distribution was absolutely lovely, stretching out her rich gold, olive-splashed skin into a flowing lake in all directions. Her feet and legs dramatically taper, the stretch mark covered rolls of her massive thighs reaching the ground on every side. Such huge thighs were necessary to support hips over 16 feet wide, supporting her enormous stomach that surged across the ground and her many rolls of back fat. Her shoulders start a beautiful cascade, dripping as a liquid testament to just how much she’d consumed, a symbol of her power and capability. Her upper arms were each wrapped in thick roll that made a divot multiple feet deep where it intersected her elbow. She often wears simple grey robes which always seem many sizes too small, more like a capelet accenting her back, bits peeking out between her rolls. Tzia’s eyes are brown curious orbs that react with a terrifying awareness and reaction speed. Those skilled at reading emotions often see her react before events even happen, but she’s actually reacting to the conflux of factors that lead to the event in the first place. Her hair would be mid-back length if the path it had to go was straight down, but because of the depth of her neck and back it barely makes it to the top of her shoulders. She has five solid chins that are all incredibly expressive exaggerating and broadcasting her emotions to all who witness her.

Tzia had brought many things into her system, studied and grown in so many unique situations making her very adaptable. She oscillates between polar confidence expressions. Sometimes she flows from a place of deep humility, having witnessed many truly great oracles that show even at her incredible scale, she’s but a grain of sand amongst stars. She knows that no matter how impressive she seems that there are always bigger fish in the ocean. She can also express supreme confidence. This isn’t arrogance on her behalf, she’s very aware of her skills and which tasks have success rates near 100%, unwilling to apply false modesty when it’s unnecessary. Lots of things that would be very challenging for others don’t intimidate her, and she keeps trying until the task is done, or intuition shows a better path. Tzia deeply respects and loves Oracles, she knew that she’d become a part of one for her whole life, and as she joins new Oracles in training her perspective shifts to be less servile. Now that she’s thinking about the path of devouring from another angle, she actually finds it really empowering and sexy, interested in exploring possibilities with those who feel alignment.

_______________________________________

Chapter 1: Learning and Monsters

Although it was clearly a most blessed and beautiful day, Tzia was still confused by her entire life plan being completely upended last night, denied study at the adjacent Prey academy. She had heavily internalized the messages that she would end up being the pinnacle of prey some day, and finding that her path was different filled her with a tentative curiosity as she shed old beliefs like a snake’s skin. She looked at the broad academy of Oracles with an entirely different perspective, she had known she would be within this space, but never thought it would be in this role. She felt an anxious flutter inside her chest as she pressed a hand to the sliding wooden door. It was still cool from the night, hydraulic support to insure that those of varying strengths had access to this sacred facility. Since it was the first day of a new class, she took the opportunity to share her awareness of where things were. After getting the news last night she prepared, making signs with directions written in each of the languages that new students spoke so that people could find their way through the massive facility.

The Academy of Oracles was obviously designed with large people in mind to even greater degrees than that of the general populace. The building was so wide that it reached the horizon on every side, each of its eight floors reinforced to handle incredible amounts of weight with ease. Even inside it felt more spacious than most outdoor environments with a vastness that felt oceanic in scale. Everything looked classic in design, all the machinery to increase accessibility hidden behind wood and stone. There was a large pack of roombas keeping the floors clean and bright, light bouncing off them. In the warmth of the early morning sun, the space felt open and accessible. Despite being such a huge space, there was an intuitive flow of the architecture that made it easy to find whatever one was looking for, Tzia’s signs only serving as a backup measure.

The rooms beyond the sun’s reach were lit by LEDs in lantern wrappings, a soft ambient light that spoke of a place free of secrets. Tzia briskly flowed to the Honoring Prey orientation where all the new Oracles would get acquainted with exactly what being an Oracle was and why it was important. The room felt like a welcoming cave, natural stone floors with carved pools and rivers flowing through the space providing a gentle background noise before they disappeared through slats in the walls. She was grateful to have arrived before the clamor and confusion of many people being exposed to a new environment. Despite those that were present having clarity, the environment was far from quiet, a constant stream of belches erupted from all over the room! There were sixty Oracles spread out across the room to lead small groups of the orientation, being fully aware that environments where people could ask questions and actually get them answered were far more conducive to learning than just blasting out information and hoping people would integrate what was said. There was free seating so people could go wherever their intuition lead, and connect with the teachers they desired. With each Oracle there were twenty Prey, and everyone was chatting eagerly about training this new batch of people here to make the world a better place.

Finally, the new students started arriving, three hundred in total for 5 students per each Oracle. It was apparent that most of these new people had only ever seen one or two Oracles in their life before, witnessing so many people of such incredible scale was overwhelming, like being an ant among titans. On average the Prey were between the weights of the students and Oracles, with substantial meat on their bones from their own training. Tzia was surprised to witness how tiny these students were, it was amazing to think that these scrawny little things from across the globe would become the next wave of change that this world needed. As people spilled in she made sure to help folks who looked confused or threatened find a space, bringing them to an Oracle who aligned with each student. As the space started to fill, new students saw others already in position and were less confused about what to do, diffusing more naturally, finding suitable Oracles to teach them.

Since English was the common international language, that was the official language of the Academy. Even though all natives of Cha’Tzien were fluent in the language, there were still some differences in cultural understanding. Where most cultures had let the constant belching interrupt conversation, things here were much more harmonious. When someone was speaking if they felt a belch come up they just let it roll through their words and kept going. The English was pretty flawless and the gassy additions added a thick accent which was both strangely alluring and also somehow felt like a more natural way to speak . When others were speaking, if someone needed to belch they’d modulate their tone into a frequency range that increased coherence, so despite the fact that in this room of 960 people having not a single moment of silence, it was still entirely possible to understand what people were saying with perfect clarity. The group nature meant that there was a background of juicy gurgles, sounds softening into each other forming something similar to white noise, but far more harmonious.

Paratzia ended up in a group of 10 with others that had congregated in a carved out hot springs. She was drawn to the group with the most experienced, fattest Prey, the scrawniest of which measuring in at a good 6 tons and the largest at 8. She decided to join this group because she was already friends with all the Prey and began chatting with them excitedly before orientation began. The Oracle dwarfed even these huge women at well over 30 tons, far from the largest of the teaching Oracles, but substantially larger than anyone else in this group. Once the last of the students settled in she began her orientation. “ Welcome new Oracles and esteemed Prey!” She belted out, the appetizing aroma of the whale shark she’d snacked on for fifteenth breakfast booming forth with her words. This put an end to the cross chatting in a way that didn’t feel like oppression, but giving an opportunity for something even greater to be shared.

“Today you continue your journey of making the world a better place. You are here to become Oracles, those who witness the flow of the world and upgrade all forces to greater cohesion. I’m going to start with the most important lesson you will learn in your entire time here.” She gestures to the assorted Prey relaxing in the hot springs. “Without these brave, brilliant women an Oracle is nothing.” She pauses for emphasis, “So, before you do anything to increase capacity or listen in to the wisdom of the Universe, the most important thing you can do is learn to -URP connect with these women from a place of love and respect. Most beings have instinctual fear of those that consume them, in the Honoring Prey classes that I will teach you, you will learn how to conduct yourself in such a way that you are inviting enough to not only overcome this default fear, but offer a new excitement for the opportunity to participate in this blessing. Anyone who isn’t open to learning how to treat Prey with love and respect can leave now.” She offers before punctuating her words with a particularly meaty belch that leaves flesh jiggling throughout the entire room and reinforcing the powerful aroma of her meals.

It was pretty common for Tzia’s immense roles of flab to reach others, however she wasn’t accustomed to them interfacing with those as small as the new students. She hadn’t really given it much thought, personal space in Cha’Tzien had no boundaries against being in physical connection with those nearby, here what was valued was making sure to not cause any harm that may be a byproduct of incredible mass. However when Tzia felt a particularly rumbling bellow shake her side it draws her attention to one of the new students. Did those huge things really come out of this 500 pound pipsqueak? Before Tzia could explore her curiosity further, the Oracle invites “Since none of you are opposed to the proper treatment of Prey, you’re henceforth in Oracle training. My name is Iyaka and you’re group eight of the thirtieth Oracle class. Cha’Tzien subsidizes the lives of Oracles and Prey, within this facility there is lodging, food, services and more. You’ll be staying in house Eight, the lodging there supports up to fifty tons, if you near that range we’ll shift you to more appropriate dwellings. Prey will live with you and cycle so that by the time you’re able to eat them you’ll consistently have your fill and you’ll have cultivated the proper relationship with them rotating through your life” She offers, starting the intensive process of shifting enough that she could start flowing.

Once Iyaka starts moving it’s breathtaking to behold, something beautiful and awe inspiring that feels inhumane to have not been witnessed before. The cohesion and elegance of her crashing rolls felt like the contrasting blessing to counterbalance the chaos of natural disasters. The students and Prey follow Iyaka to House Eight. It has hot springs, rivers, and beautiful stone. Beds were positioned so they were easy to access, but had strategically placed mountainous outcroppings of rock so that people could have privacy if they desired it. Despite accessible privacy, the majority of the space was communally designed so that people could easily connect with one another. There was no distinction between beds for Prey and beds for future Oracles, a reminder that Prey are not inferior, but people, just like the students. It was much quieter here without needing to hear the continuous enormous eruptions of other Oracles in the training hall, but even with the increased quiet it still felt more chaotic. Despite being the noisiest place any of the students had ever been to, the training hall felt serene in some way. All the noises worked together and the huge eruptions of teachers smoothed out background noise to help everything fall into place perfectly.

Iyaka lets out a satisfied “URRRP!” Her short, powerful belch echoing through the massive room. This leads her to smile in warm satisfaction, expression spreading across her massive cheeks with angelic beauty. “I know a lot of you are accustomed to being one of the bigger people in your home towns and that the contrast of being among Oracles who actually have experience eating can force you to re-examine your world view. Orientation is brief so that you have time to adjust to your new homes and make friends with the people here. Remember that the path of the Oracle is to be friends with all, get to know the people living with you and remember, you’re here to make the world a better place. If you have questions about anything feel free to ask any of the Prey or Paratzia.”  She pauses for a moment gesturing to Tzia who don’t seem at all phased by being singled out or related to the Prey in that way, embracing the truth that she has awareness that can help her fellow students. She waves, making sure to make eye contact with each other student, letting them know that it’s safe to talk to her and that she is here to support. Iyaka starts to flow out of house eight, mentioning over her shoulder, “Along with answering questions they also know delicious places to eat around here.” She teases playfully as she leaves, leading to a scramble of new students who hadn’t eaten in an entire hour and forty five minutes scrambling to talk to various Prey and get that situation sorted out.

The powerful pipsqueak that Tzia heard earlier comes to ask her for guidance in finding food. Tzia beams a welcoming smile back at her. She nervously asks, “H-hi, I’m Simone. would you please, Urrrp, show me where to get food?” Tzia does a little shuffle with her hips so her fat is more side oriented than depth oriented as it jiggles back and forth, freeing space for Simone to get closer to her. When Simone belched mid greeting Tzia doesn’t exhibit any of the disgust or disdain symbols that were prevalent in Simone’s homeland. Tzia is momentarily surprised, but it does nothing to shake her warm and inviting nature as her hips jiggle hypnotically with the side to side motion. Instead of chastising Simone’s eruptions Tzia giggles, “Don’t worry, you don’t need to show off here, we respect people of all sizes and know that big Oracles come in small packages.” She responds. Not only did she not think it was gross, she was actively impressed with Simone’s eruptions. Tzia responds with a huge encouraging rumble of her own, her shifting stomach gurgling with a gaseous wetness with the bewitching beauty of a geyser about to erupt. “ORRRRRRRRRRRRRP! UAAPeeeorrrrRRRRRRRP. Urrp, urp Buap, BORRRRP.” Despite not being an Oracle yet Tzia most certainly belched like one! The intriguing tones of the eruptions were immersive, when she belched just for the pleasure of it all her eruptions were worlds of their own, bassy soundscapes that swirl through a narrative of pressure, release, and satisfaction, resonating the entirety of Simone’s flesh with those feelings. Tzia’s belches are so big that  even the desperate pleas for food from many students stop momentarily as people just stare in awe. Despite the six beefy blasts, she barely pays notice to them, idly flicking her wrist as if to dismiss them. Her voice is cheerful with a hint of seductive allure to it in response to Simone’s own eruptions, “Welcome Simone! It’s lovely to meet you, I’m hungry too, let’s grab some seventh breakfast!”

Tzia grabs Simone’s hand and flows off, the rest of the classmates still gaping at the powerful sensations that accompanied those eruptions. There’s a food court staffed by religious devotees who were not prey, but still wanted to contribute to the nourishment of Oracles. There were all kinds of cuisines and Tzia had a good friendship with everyone who worked there. She offers, “Since I was given the opportunity to become an Oracle I made a personal vow to never eat another dead thing again. So I’ll only partake of the living stuff they have at that final eatery, but feel free to enjoy whatever aligns with you!” Gesturing to some of the amazing aromas wafting over from each restaurant. Despite her personal vow, she expresses no hint of judgment as she shows off the wonderful opportunities! There was an incredibly broad array of things available, and the quantities were intimidating. First there was Japanese cuisine, serving a bowl of Udon that looked more like a bathtub than a menu item. Then there was Shanghainese cuisine with endless xiao long bao steaming, their pork soupy aroma mixing with that of the Udon. Then there was some more Western diner food that had a platter displayed in front with 3 dozen eggs, fifteen pounds of chicken fried steak, many biscuits smothered in gravy, mashed potatoes, cole slaw, macaroni salad and so much more. These were only the first few of dozens and dozens of eateries all of which had vegan options available.

While starting to gesture to the fiftieth place down Paratzia looses a big rumbling, “BUAAAAPP! Mmmmm that was good.” She groans out, the powerful smell of her seafood meals carrying a powerful sense of life with it, just witnessing the loud wet belch brought a rush of endorphines, feeling of movement, and witnessing of a deep power. She appends, “If you want to eat what I’m eating we’re going down there.” she continues her gesture, other hand slapping her incredibly adipose gut as it growls expectantly. The slap sets off a myriad of waves across her massive form as she licks her lips, mouth open, gaseous after shock burps blasting forth every few seconds as she gets to re-taste the flavor of her sixth breakfast. It was very obvious that she was a woman who loved belching, but her eruptions instead of being violent were powerfully inspiring, alluring and inviting, like a neon sign pointing to the truth that there’s so much more to learn.

As Simone gets massive trays of wonderful food, every person working there treats her with respect. All the chefs and servers are friendly and inviting, happy to give her as amazing of an experience as they can. Each dish is prepared with compassion as if for a lover, despite being massive and full of many elements, the meal feels incredibly intimate, each part like a poem crafted with the consumer in mind. It felt like the kind of omnipresent love some experience at religious institutions and other deeply communal activities. In many ways it was an act of sacred service for those involved, creating food as if for a deity, each element of cooking ritualized in a way to bring it depth, power and passion. Each delectable morsel that buried an enormous serving slab was well executed and felt catered for royalty. Despite this act of service there was none of the standard behaviors that often come with the power imbalance of serving someone’s needs. The chefs and servers were more than happy to look Simone in the eye and address her, not as a superior or inferior, but just as a person worthy of care.

At the final eatery there were live sea creature troughs with a high nutrition bait in them that broke down into small particulate floating out into the open ocean through an underground cavern, bringing in many animals. Because of global climate change, the most common sea life of substantial size were Humboldt Squid which had taken over both the Pacific and Atlantic. Bait attracted the squid and the squid was a satisfyingly massive meal that was great to consume. Since there were such massive numbers of the squid, even with incredible needs of a hungry populace they were a great food source. Where most would cook them up in a variety of ways, Paratzia’s vow of life meant she needed alternative approaches to these 4 foot long behemoths of the sea. She went into a larger dining area of water where the squid could roam freely, taking time to meditate in prayer and align herself with the squid. Although they weren’t human like Prey, they needed to be treated with respect as well for the gift they provided. Nutrition, another day of life.

As Simone looked around her enormous food covered slab, she observed the behaviors of the squid change as Tzia enters a trance-like state of gratitude. They curiously approach, swimming along the creases of her rolls, arms drifting along them. There was a combination of tension and serenity as her belly loosed an incredible growl, it rumbled up through the water, gut visibly quaking with the intensity of its desire for food. The squid reacted in a startled but almost mesmerized way, they could tell they would be eaten and fight or flight had kicked in, but it was paired with a kind of acceptance and exhilaration that was absolutely enchanting. As a big woman swimming was a lovely experience, Tzia grappled one of the many armed creatures and stuff it into her mouth, quickly followed by another. The upgrades in her physical durability from Symbioglobulin made even the impacts of their strong tentacles and razor sharp beaks a paltry assault on her enduring form. What would have been able to eviscerate a human back at the turn of the century was just a small section of a greater meal now.

Paratzia absolutely gorged herself on squid, gulping down their long heads and powerful arms. The sight of her throat bulging massively with their large forms tautening her many chins as each of these incredible meals went down was beautiful. It became even more apparent when she started devouring multiple at a time. She ate like a force of nature, taking in mouthfuls that were more than the entirety of Simone’s body and gulping them down with a kind of visceral, ravenous beauty so substantial that it was like opening a doorway to a greater world. Tzia’s lips, teeth and tongue all participated fully and despite her passionate action there was a tenderness that could only be witnessed in those with true power. She didn’t use her incredible bulk to tear her teeth into her meal, but to support it, grasp and guide, supplementing its squirming motion with the peristalsis of her throat, the pressure of the back of her tongue, and moving the squid to her belly. The sheer quantity of what she ate was astounding as well! With the first 5 of them she ate more than Simone’s entire mass, but she didn’t stop there, she didn’t stop at 30 or even 60. Other new students gawk as in the course of 20 minutes Tzia polished off 4 shoals of squid, 48,000 pounds in total! Although her belly was already the centerpoint of her frame, seeing it bloated out to over double the rest of her mass made it even more mesmerizing. The squirming motions of squid were visible, the entire surface of Tzia’s belly undulating and writhing with life inside. She was full of bliss, gratitude and squid. There was no mistaking the fact that she loved to eat, and loved being full of life. The new students were gawking, while the chefs and servers kept their cool, but were still impressed with her feat of incredible consumption.

Paratzia checks back in with Simone, “Now that I’ve shown you where the food court is, I have a previous commitment to attend to, but if you like you can come with me.” Simone nods, choosing to accompany her. Tzia responds with a smile, giving warm and positive feedback to Simone for exploring new opportunities, giving her shoulder a soft brush with a pudgy hand. Her skin is angelically soft and the mass behind it shows the care and precision with which she conducts herself to support instead of flatten the smaller student. She takes Simone through the facility, unlike the orientation space, lodging and food court, the area they go to isn’t quite as easy to find. Tzia flows while Simone walks for what must be three miles of twists and turns through the academy as she explains. “One of my commitments I’ve had for the last decade has been to support Neakiha in her rehabilitation, and I make sure to visit her every day. Just as a warning, she’s the reason for the part of the introduction and class on treating prey with respect.” Tzia offers honestly since the information seems pertinent, but without the judgement that would often be applied to such a controversial figure. Neakiha had been one of the primary people that the media used as a sign that those infected with The Cure were monsters. In the fourth Oracle class, she went on a rampage, consuming over 10,000 people during the 4 months it took to apprehend her, a person who had commited a crime so heinous anywhere else would have been executed, or at least imprisoned for life. Cha’Tzien had no death penalty, focusing on rehabilitation instead of imprisonment.

The duo get to an area marked very clearly, “REHABILITATION” There were no locks or guards, the space was just as clean and beautiful as the rest of the academy, far more luxurious than one would expect a society to put the greatest mass murderer to ever live. Paratzia also seems to not have a terribly somber view of the situation, happily rubbing her gurgling, squirming stomach as it writhes with prey and gas as they approach a room marked. “Space of the Oracle in Darkness” Tzia knocks swiftly, calling in a friendly tone. “Hey Kiha, it’s Tzia, and I’ve brought a new friend, Simone.” The door slides open, and the two enter. The inside of the room is beautiful wood, with one wall of dark wood with thousands of names carved in filled with dark crimson resin. On the opposite wall there are at least quintuple names carved, but filled with a golden resin. Neakiha looks far different from the images the media had put out. Where everything from that era had shown her with a crazed, inhuman look in her eyes, now those same brown orbs look sweet. “Come on in, I’ve got some tea brewing.” She offers with a slight Korean accent. She’s only slightly larger than Tzia is at 13 tons, with long black hair and kind brown eyes. Despite her kindness, she’s aware of her reputation and turns to address Simone directly.

Kiha’s voice carries the air of someone who has had to say this thousands of times before, but contains the clarity of why it’s necessary that she share. “It’s nice to meet you Simone. You’ve probably heard a lot about me, some of it I’m sure is bullshit, but I’ll confirm the things that are true. A decade ago I hunted through Appo outside these walls and devoured 10,352 people. At the time I felt I was strong and they were weak, the law of the jungle and all of that bullshit. I was apprehended by an experienced Oracle from the first class with ease, all that strength I’d acquired from consuming those I found inferior was nothing in comparison to her. I saw that there were still those stronger than me in the world and felt it was my time to end as I had lived, be devoured as I had devoured others. However, she didn’t destroy me, didn’t send me beyond this world, but took me and held me close, rubbing my back. For the first time in my life I didn’t feel like I needed to fight to justify my right to live and I cried. It was so beautiful that someone so clearly had the power to abuse me if they chose to do so, and I knew I deserved it, but they supported and loved me instead. She took me here to Rehabilitation, where I could work out the toxic patterns that lead me to treat others as less than human. That’s how I met Tzia!” She says, voice growing excited at the end, reaching out to grab Tzia’s hand.

“She was expected to be the greatest prey in all of Cha’Tzien, I didn’t know why they’d put such a valuable asset with me after I’d taken such despicable action. Despite getting there in the wrong way I was an Oracle, and my intuition told me Tzia was part of my destiny. I wanted to lash out, to destroy anyone here to help since I didn’t deserve it, I was guilty of ending those people.” Paratzia interjects fiercely, “We all deserve help, those that are unhelped are more likely to cause harm, those who receive the support they need can make better decisions.” Kiha chuckles, “And this is why I needed her, I swear in that first year I tried to eat you what, a hundred times?” Tzia rolls her eyes playfully, “Every day for a year is more than a hundred, but yeah, you’re lucky I was told not to take any bullshit from you.” Neakiha blushes, the warm color spreading across her massive frame. “I’m grateful that for such a peace and love lady you had some fight in you. No matter how many days I tried she’d come in here and sit with me, just someone to talk to who didn’t see me as a monster. She’d known people I ate, but she was friends with plenty of Oracles who ate those she loved. She knew I’d done it in the wrong way, but saw my actions as a mistake instead of as who I was. I only saw that look in the eyes of Oracles, but here I saw this delicious dish who didn’t hate my guts and that pissed me the fuck off. How could she not hate me after what I’d done?”

Tzia retorts, “Because you are a living being, all that lives is worthy of love, from the smallest microbe to the greatest predator. I don’t need to be an Oracle to see this system. How would your mother have felt if we executed you? How would more death honor the sacrifice of those that were lost? Dying doesn’t counter death, the only way to address death is by embracing life.” Neakiha sighs, “Since she was born into all this ‘path of helping the most people’ stuff, she was exactly who I needed to help me realize that although what I’d done was deeply wrong, me suffering wouldn’t make that any better. She encouraged me to start my project.” Kiha references the walls, “Those dark red words are the names of each person I consumed during those 4 months, each person that I ripped from this world because my heart and mind were lost in darkness without a light to guide me. These names in gold are for each life I’ve saved using the gifts I’ve gained as an Oracle. This is to remind me that no matter what I do, it won’t bring back those that were lost, but it lets their loss contribute to something good.” Kiha hands Tzia a stack of letters, “I use my gifts as an Oracle to send invitations to those who are persecuted in their homelands, I sense those who feel that their only option is to turn to that same violent darkness I did and I tell them that there are other paths for them to be safe, to be loved. I tell them timings for when people will walk by, how to get plane tickets and more. Those that spirit says would die or kill if left alone are given the chance to make better decisions and come to join Cha’Tzien where they can be supported in finding a better path.”

Simone gasped, able to feel the truth in Kiha’s words, fighting the programming from her own culture that told her the best way to respond to violence was with more violence. Kiha’s voice took on a powerful and prophetic tone, eyes shifting from brown to a beautiful storm of color and light, “The three of us are a confluence, and through our connection we will bless the world.”
 

Emotions as Thought

Chakras_Full_Res.jpg

Emotions are often vilified in our logic based society. During most of my youth I came from the perspective that the “correct” way of interfacing with emotions is to insure that they have as minimal influence on behavior as possible. As I’ve moved forward in my path, that view has substantially shifted in favor of honoring emotion and has changed my life.

One of the primary reasons that emotions are vilified is the association of emotion as an animal characteristic and thus lower instead of logical thought which people consider a more advanced and thus more valuable way to process reality. This is used to separate humans from other animals because they can’t execute algebra or dissect an argument for fallacious logic. The fact that more archaic brain types use emotion is a sign that it’s a strong foundation for driving behavior.

Emotion is a form of thinking that doesn’t use words and drives the majority of human action consciously or unconsciously. Learning to think in emotions is an excellent way to bring this decision making to a conscious level instead of being driven by unseen forces. With this goal in mind it’s possible to see that emotions aren’t the enemy, they can in fact be an ally in growth and creation.

Ignoring emotions is to remain ignorant to the fact that there are systems and networks which influence how we experience. We aren’t happy or sad for no reason. We feel how we feel because the emotional system for driving behavior is trying to interface with some pattern.

The first step in being able to think in emotions is to feel them. This may sound like the easiest task since most people are trying to escape feeling the emotions in the first place! That’s not quite accurate though. It’s very easy to feel an emotion momentarily, but then have judgements about that experience skew the experience, disconnecting it from what you’re trying to get in touch with. The languages that emotion uses to communicate often include imagery/symbols and sensations in the body.

Our emotions often come from associations of meaning of different factors as opposed to the factor itself being a direct stimulus to emotion. The imagery and feelings are communicating what these associations are. Many of these originate from previous strong experiences with parallel experience and habitual experiences which have shaped neural pathways. A challenge is to connect with these without judgement, as it’s easy for preconceived notions about what something means to shape how it’s interpreted.

Building a strong foundation of emotions allows you to interface with your language and logic from a more aware perspective. Understanding this driving and what it wants you to do is important. It helps you be able to make decisions with all of yourself, often the intuitive connection of emotions once you’ve cleaned associations is consciousness’ way of compiling more information than your language processing can handle. This is why many books on leadership, creating new products, etc talk about collecting information but then trusting your gut. The processing happens at a subconscious level which enables it to process far more than the limited slice of capability that conscious brain has access to.

Be blessed,

— Isicera

Love in Abundance

She Who Blesses Life Full Res.jpg

Love is a powerful force in the world that influences everything we see. Whether it’s the love of clinging to what one has which corrupts connections into mutual destruction, or the love of growth nourishing a healthy relationship. Our society teaches people that when it comes to other humans each person only has enough love to give to one romantic partner, and that everything else is profane. This very view of how love and relationships work does more to make people miserable than most other forces in this world.

The first challenge that this view of what love is, is that we’re taught loving someone means sacrificing yourself for them. In movies, music, novels and all other forms of media, we state that the kind of way a noble or heroic approach to a relationship is to give up everything for the person. This view is that, there’s enough love for one person in me, and that person is not me. Grand gestures can be all well and good, but self sacrifice leads to resentment and the understanding that connection is misery.

This isn’t useful for anything but keeping humans isolated, in pain and associating unity with suffering. Love first and foremost needs to flow into the self. I’ve grown and become blessed as I’ve crafted a love for myself in many ways. I practice self care not because it’s what I “should do” but because I connect with the feelings of love with myself of eating a good meal, having an amazing class of yoga, meditation, or having a discussion with someone about my favorite topics. I find that when I prioritize loving myself, I’m able to connect more deeply with others because I’m not in this state of craving which forms toxic relationships. I have varying levels of success with this, some days I do better than others, but over the last few years it has been a trend in my life to care for myself more and as a byproduct my care for others has improved.

When coming from a place of self love, there’s not that forced need for the other in order to feel complete. You are not two halves coming together to make a whole, you are wholes coming together to mutually grow and connect with joy. Because I have this viewpoint, I’ve never stopped loving any of my exes, I’ve just become aware that we’re not mutually beneficial for one another at this point in time and our paths needed to diverge so that we can grow in our different ways.

Love is like a garden. If you continually give other people your seeds without planting any of your own, you’ll feel lacking and in a state of scarcity. If you give those seeds to yourself and plant wonderful plants, they’ll sustainably make seeds which you can share. The special flowers and fruits of your self love benefit you and your partner(s) more than giving them meager seeds.

Just as the myth that there’s only love for the other in a relationship, is the lie that people can only love one partner. People are taught that they can love one other person and that loving more than one person means they somehow love the person less. This is a scarcity viewpoint of love, that it’s an incredibly limited resource and that being exceptionally cautious with how you share it is the only way things will work. This viewpoint is used to keep people disconnected so that people view relationships with care as something to compete for as opposed to something to collaborate with.

Viewing love as a garden, and each person’s love as a type of plant we can see that plants can grow synergistically together. Just like corn, beans, and squash mutually enhance the soil in ways that benefit the others, having diverse and healthy relationships of love is also mutually beneficial. Once you love yourself and your garden is overflowing with your fruit it’s a caring perspective that wants many who align to be able to benefit from the fruits of your labor. Doing this is not an easy task. It requires having clear and open communication with your partner(s) in order for things to flow in a healthy way. This is true for both monogamous and polyamorous relationships.

People have fears and jealousy, they’re complex beings, not idols on pedestals. Love is the emotion that reaches down into the most vulnerable core of their being. This is a place to tread with respect, it’s a sacred space that you’ve been invited as a guest, treat it as such. Each person knows their sacred space more than anyone else does. As such, communicating about things clearly is a necessity, they know how they want their sacred space treated. This means wildly different things for different people. Some have their sacred space nourished by hearing all of the wonderful details of the love you share with others. Some just would like brief explanations that something is happening. Some prefer warning before an action is taken.

This becomes doubly important if other partners interact with the primary, whether it be romantically, as coworkers, or anything else. How your relationship is with your other partner(s) influences how your partners interact with each other.

Before you implement a polyamorous approach to love in your, check out resources online. There are a lot of people who are exploring this powerful space in the world and plenty have developed excellent techniques or encountered challenges that they can help you avoid. Be informed, patient and compassionate with those you care for, this includes yourself.

May connecting with these views on love support people in being able to build deeper connections with both themselves and others. May your garden of love grow with the most delectable array of delicious treats reality has to offer and this abundance overflow into the lives of those around you.

With much love, be blessed.

— Isicera

Trauma and Growing Mechanisms

Dragon_Eater_C.jpg

A topic that has come to mind recently is how people deal with trauma, societal thoughts on that, and how to transform the dealing into growth.

I come at this from multiple facets of my identity. A lot of trans people have experienced sexual trauma at an early age. This has lead many people to think of being trans as a coping mechanism for having experienced this trauma.

In a similar vein, I’ve done a lot of self analysis about my interest in devouring other (all) entities whole and alive. I experienced a traumatic birth, my entrance into this world was challenging, painful and left me in shock. An interpretation of the situation is that on a psychological level, my interest is the unification of separates into a greater whole. Spiritually, this is about connecting with the unity, god, the all, spirit, or whatever way you connect with it. It’s literally ending separation. On a non spiritual level, some would analyze saying that it’s a desire to return to the womb and the state of unity that’s associated with before the trauma of birth. I appreciate thinking about elements of my consciousness and their causes, as it helps me both understand myself, and thus how I’ve developed the tools I’ve managed to create.

Many people interpret this as, “I’ve found the root of this thing, so it’s no longer important.” Or, “Because it was caused by this instead of being something fundamental, it’s not a truth about you, just a coping mechanism.” Thus they’ll prioritize modifying the consciousness to be as similar as possible to the average who haven’t experienced this trauma and developed this mechanism to still live life. They try to undo all which has been done. I disagree with this way of thinking.

I feel our society’s entire understanding of coping mechanisms and crutches is rooted in an ableist view that tries to make everyone psychologically and physically the same. I don’t think coping tools are things which make people weaker, I think they’re powerful teachers. People think about important things in their lives, and get very skilled at using whatever coping mechanisms they develop.

If you’re triggered by cacophonous sounds, you’re much more aware of the acoustic environment than someone just going about their day. Internally counting in order to become aware of rhythms in things to make them no longer startling is a coping mechanism. The view of standard society is that the goal is to make sure the person no longer counts and is able to interface with the environment like everyone else, forcing assimilation. However, this doesn’t take into account how integrating this coping mechanism in healthy ways not only can help a person process their experience of trauma, but let’s them have insight which benefits us all. There are patterns in all kinds of things! Whether it’s noticing that people have cadences in which they speak when in certain emotional states, hearing changes in the environment, like the addition of a sprinkler with a particular sound stopped a certain type of bird from singing, or a variety of other ways of being aware. When a coping mechanism is taken beyond the point where it just allows the person to exist, they can contribute powerful findings that will help people have healthier emotional reactions, or gain awareness of patterns in avian behavior. They’ve transformed their coping mechanism into a growing mechanism.

Thinking about gender issues can certainly start as a byproduct of experiencing sexual trauma, this however doesn’t mean that the thought, skill and awareness this generates is any less valid. People who have gone through this pioneer awareness of gender so all of us can live more authentic and empowered lives. This is a growing mechanism.

The desire to devour all things drove me down the path of both spirit, and thinking about how to have all my relationships be healthy, whether they’re with people, food, or where I live. This brought me to Mutually Beneficial Consent Based Omnivorism. It’s a moral necessity to insure that not only does eating not harm those we eat as drives many people to go vegan, but a more optimized approach is to make eating something beneficial for its own growth and development. This generates better treatment of resources we consume. Additionally, it allows our species to grow more, if we’re destructive to those we consume, that limits us. At a certain population, we’ll run out of the resources for everyone to get what they need if the system is negative to those we intake.

Exploring avenues of thought like this is a growing mechanism, it gets me to delve into the research of how there are some species that already have this type of interaction.

“Some phytoplankton, such as Sphaerocytsis Schroeteri, pass through zooplankton guts (Daphnia) with minimal digestion, and their growth after gut passage is dramatically elevated compared with uneaten cells. Although initially described as a mutualism in which the phytoplankton received nutrients to enhance growth and the zooplankton received some gelatinous sheath material from the alga, the advantage to the grazer became less certain when it was realized that some phytoplankton species that withstood gut passage did not have gelatinous coverings and thus no covering to sacrifice. However, phytoplankton may continue appreciable photosynthesis while in zooplankton guts. The resistant algae are possibly trading photosynthate to zooplankton in return for viable gut passage which would make this relationship a mutualism. Effects at the community level could be considerable; in grazing experiments densities of species resistant to gut passage increase as more consumers are added.”

http://wolfweb.unr.edu/~ldyer/classes/396/hayetal.pdf

This is not impossible, this is something that in the age of bioengineering we can enhance humans to not have a byproduct of existing be the destruction of life on this planet. Pursuing this path is one of the few choices that benefit all things. I would never have come to this without flowing through my specific coping mechanism of understanding the relationship between unity/separation from a predator/prey mindset.

Since the tools for this aren’t yet in place, I default to veganism as the path of least harm as I work towards the path of MBCBO a symbiotic baseline for being.

I’m sure at this point there are still those who would say, “This is just theoretical, this isn’t how things really work!” In response, I’ll give a physical example that has already occurred.

Oscar experienced the trauma of having both of his legs amputated. Oscar copes with not having standard human legs by using prosthetic replacements. At some point, the level of prosthetic being used to cope allows Oscar to run fast than he would have been able to should his legs not be amputated. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flex-Foot_Cheetah

Finding alternative ways to do things from the standard does not mean they will be inferior, it just means they will be different. Supporting people to transform their coping mechanisms into growth mechanisms that we can all learn to upgrade to makes the world a better place. Support people in growing and being happy, this doesn’t mean making them like everyone else, this means honoring their experience, and supporting them in catalyzing it into wisdom.

This is not advocating people inflicting trauma to get what comes out of it, these same things can be developed consciously in healthy ways. We need to dismantle oppressive systems so that healthy ways create these brilliant people instead of trauma.

— Isicera